Stop for a minute and think about the word awkward. It EVEN sounds awkward! Awkwardness sometimes amuses me – awkward situations happen all the time to people and are often funny or ironic when you think through the situations afterwards.
It’s funny up until you ARE the Awkward Pause.
This happened to me this past weekend. I was home visiting friends and family for Easter and Sunday night most of the people from the small group I was in a few years ago got together. It was a wonderful time of laughter, fellowship and catching up – then the conversation turned to everyone’s spouses, (& now children!), boy friends or girl friends. Pictures and stories were swapped as the group talked about how so many things had changed in last few years. This was all great until one of the guys looked around the room and said, ‘wow, look at all of us, paired up in relationships and in that next phase of life!’ – then he saw me and said – ‘well everyone, but Katie’ – Big awkward pregnant pause!
He didn’t mean it in a bad way, but once said, no one knew what to say next. My life had just become that awkward pause. I laughed it off and said something to the effect of ‘ it was ok, God just has me in a different season of life and that I was truly happy for everyone else’. I then quickly changed the subject before I became the object of single’s pity, or before they could suggest every man between 19–30 they could think of to set me up with.
I thought about this conversation for most of my 2 hour drive home. Two of my closest girlfriends in the group just started seriously dating & growing up we had always joked we would go on triple dates together, and even marry 3 brothers! We would do this season together. I’m not going to lie and say it’s easy to watch them, it isn’t. I’m not sure I like the saying “to love & have lost is better than to never have loved at all” – when you lose a love, you remember everything that goes with it when you watch your friends. But I am truly happy for them!
Here is where the awkward pause comes in again. I can pause right here and mope around in this awkward stage & bemoan the fact that God’s ways & timings aren’t mine. * Or I can keep moving forward, laugh at the irony and rejoice in what God has for ME in this season, not what He has for everyone else. I want to make the very most of this season in my life, and learn everything I possibly can from it.
Yes, there are times in life when you need to “wait and rest” in the season the Lord has you in. – But waiting on the Lord, is an action, it’s not passive complacency! I choose to serve the Lord now in this time! He has ordained specific works ahead of time that I should walk in them. (Eph. 2:10) He has given me peace, when I can best serve Him, with someone, He’ll bring someone. I will not be an awkward pause!! He came so we can have life abundantly! – NOW ?
He has us in every season of life, right where He wants us – in the places where we can bring Him the most praise and glory.
How about you? Any awkward pauses in your life lately? A stagnant job, relationships, worry… What is causing you to be a pause instead of a praise?
*- Yes, I know I’m only 23, and no, this isn’t a mid 20’s crisis…