Not Unredeemed

… living the beautiful tension between what is, and what will be …

Of Mountains and Passion


In my last blog, I brought attention to the seemingly obvious lack of godly men in the church and in our homes.  But what to do about it is the most important question. More specifically, what can we as women, do about it?  In asking the godly men in my life what I could do to help inspire the men around me to live courageously for the Lord, the answers were almost universal and seem almost too simplistic to be true! Yet I know it works and is true because I have lived it!

The there were a couple of things that came up when I talked to the men. The main thing was: Prayer

Sounds pretty simple, huh? Even easy? I thought so at first! Come on, prayer? It’s gotta be a little more complicated than that!

It is, but at the same time it is not.  When we pray – truly pray – the Lord changes things.  He says that the ‘fervent effective prayer of a righteous man avails much’ (James 5:16b). Even in the Old Testament, look how many times the Lord determines to bring judgment on Israel, and they repent, pray and the Lord shows mercy.

I said I knew that the Lord works and moves when we pray for our men because I have lived it. Several years ago, the Lord brought a young man into my life and after being friends for a while we started dating. During that time and for a while after, the Lord taught me what it meant to really pray for someone. I knew this man could be so much more than he was living.  But what could I do?

After we broke up, I prayed the Lord would allow me to see this man as He saw him. I prayed the Lord would continue to make him into the man I knew the Lord had created him to be.  For months the Lord gave me a deep love for him and a heart and eyes that saw and loved him for who he was and for who he could be.

These weren’t just ‘oh Lord, bless him’ prayers; often they were gut-wrenching intercessory prayers. Two things happened – first, the Lord allowed me the privilege to watch him grow into the godly man I knew he could be. And second the Lord changed me. When I first started praying for this man, I was praying because I wanted him to change. The Lord had to painfully teach me I needed to be praying for him so the Lord could be glorified in his life, not so that he could meet my needs.

Warning, this is NOT a Hollywood story – It’s better! As he grew in the Lord and became more of a godly man, he met and married a wonderful girl and they are pursuing the Lord together.  I walked away with some of the most life-changing and molding lessons of my life. I learned one facet of true, godly love means seeing a person for who they are and who they can be and loving them for that. Not for what they can give you in return.

“When we love someone we delight in that person’s existence, and we want to help that person be all the God designed him or her to be, even if that design may not have anything to do with us.” Laura Smit?

When we love some like that, it fuels a fire to passionately pray for them! The best part is prayer works!

Here is the thing with prayer though – it changes you just as much as it changes the circumstances. I previously challenged that praying for our men is a call that will take more from you than you might be willing to give.  It will be a sacrifice – are the men in your life worth it?  How serious are you about doing what it takes to encourage the men around you? Will you complain or will you act? And are you ready for what you will get?

I say it might take more than you are willing to give because when we pray that the Lord will get the glory, he must often change our selfish desires first. Are you willing to be a tool that the Lord uses? To the possibility of being a part of someone else’s story – one that may have different results than you expected, but is ultimately better?

Wives, this could mean that as you pray the Lord points out things in your life that need changing too – He often starts with us first and it can be times like this where you realize holiness is much better, but much harder, than happiness.

Are we ready for what we will get? A friend of mine was attending a Laugh Your Way to a Better Marriage® seminar by Mark Gungor and heard him say the following: “Most women, if asked to describe the perfect man, describe another woman.” Often godly manhood looks differently than we think it should. Are we prepared to let the Lord work in the lives of our men regardless of how that meshes with our idea of the ‘perfect’ man?

I believe the men around us ARE worth it! We are called to love as Christ first loved us. He sacrificed everything for us – can we sacrifice a little and pray for our husbands, brothers and friends?

The Lord has strongly convicted me to stop complaining about the lack of godly leadership in our homes, culture and churches and DO something about it. So I am! I have committed to pray every day for my future husband (who ever he may be) and one of my brothers for this next year. I’m praying that the Lord would help me to see them through His eyes and that they would grow into the men the Lord created them to be for His glory.

Who’s with me? I’m serious. Old, young, married, single – if you are a women and have a heart and passion to pray for your husbands, future husbands, boyfriends, fathers, brothers, and friends and want to commit to regular prayer for them, please contact me. I’m setting up a private Facebook group where we can hold each other accountable to be praying for these men and share with each other what the Lord is showing us about Himself, prayer and those men through this. Email me at or comment on this blog or ask to join – Women of Prayer for Courageous Men of God.

Whatever you do – don’t complain. Take your frustration and turn it into the power of prayer! Praying passionately TODAY moves mountains!

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Edit thanks to J & T Holden and C Brittin!
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Author: notunredeemed

Jesus follower, people lover, truth scribbler. Addicted to pain (growth). Passionate about relationships, identity and the transforming power of Christ.

14 thoughts on “Of Mountains and Passion

  1. Awesome thoughts for sure. I've found that my biggest challenge is to not be condemning, only praying for guys that I SEE potential in… because God can raise ANY man up.. so in truth it's those guys that I know who seem hopeless causes that I forget to pray for, and I pray for the ones that I tend to favor, the ones that I truly want to see grow. I need to break this habit and see them with different eyes because God would want them ALL to grow in Him. Clear as mud? I need to be less partial in who I lift to the Lord in prayer.

  2. Reading this after a night's rest, slightly less bleary-eyed :), I am astonished at the solid truth you've shared here, Katie – and in such a winsome way. Thank you for involving me in the discussion, it has motivated me toward more fervent prayer. Keep writing

  3. Very, very profound! This really hit home for me: "Wives, this could mean that as you pray the Lord points out things in your life that need changing too." Gosh, isn't that the TRUTH?!In the recent days, my heart has been aching for a man in India I will probably never meet. We have 7 Compassion International children in our family and our son Johan in India is 16. We recently got a letter from him with many details about his life. One paragraph told us about how his father, Suleman, has become very angry. How there is a lot of arguing and worrying in the house on a daily basis. My heart aches and all I can do is pray. Their recent crops failed due to rain, not sure if they had too much or not enough, but I am sure those stresses weigh heavy. So we pray, and we pray, and we just ask God to bring peace to that home. If you have a few minutes to pray on his behalf, I would really appreciate it.Love your blog and was so happy to see you back at FLN for rollerskating! Your presence was missed while you were in CO!

  4. Thank you for writing on this subject. To see women rising up in prayer for authentic manhood is inspiring and convicting.

  5. Great post! That can be the hardest thing when praying for the men in our lives, making sure our intentions are in check, that it is His way that will make the change not ours. Definitely interested in joining…

  6. Katie, I couldn't agree more! I started praying for my man when I was 13–and I hadn't even met him yet! Turns out I wouldn't meet him until last summer, and even then I had no idea he was who God had for me. When God finally bumped us together, I didn't realize then that God had answered my years of prayer. We're getting married very soon, and it's totally something the Lord has done. It's God's answer to prayer. Even though I've "got my man" as the old song goes, I'm not done praying for him. Thank you for the call to pray more!

  7. Katie!You nailed it. This is THE response we need to the issues at hand (and yes there are serious issues at hand).I found this very interesting too:“Most women, if asked to describe the perfect man, describe another woman.” Often godly manhood looks differently than we think it should. Hollywood and culture in general has made it so difficult to define what manhood is and both women and men walk around with skewed definitions and it just makes things messier. By women having this "perfect Godly man" definition or expectation in their minds it makes it very difficult or impossible to become that golden standard and we feel like failures and then we get discouraged and label ourselves failures which perpetuates the problem.So what are healthy expectations for women to have and pray over men? THAT is the key question :).Thanks for writing this, but even more so, thank you for your prayers…keep it up! Keep encouraging others to do so! You are changing the world

  8. Pingback: A Women's Resolution? | YLCF

  9. I hopped over from YLCF’s recent post…whoa, this is mightily convicting, but also incredibly encouraging! Thank you. I made a similar decision/resolution after viewing Courageous for the first time. I’m glad to know that I’m not the only one! The power of prayer…only He knows what He will do with it. 🙂

    • Rachelle! Thanks you for coming over and visiting Not Unredeemed! Courageous was so inspiring! (And still is!) Prayer is so powerful!

  10. Stopping in from YLCF’s recent post as well…Thank you for sharing the story of your previous dating relationship. I’m in a similar situation, but it’s only been a couple months and so far, to be very honest, it feels much easier to be mad than to pray, because on the surface those earnest, tear-borne prayers haven’t been answered yet. Thank you for the reminder that God will be faithful. I can’t tell you how joyful and delighted I would be to see that happen in this guy’s life…oh, the glory to Jesus it would bring! Thanks for the encouragement to keep on.

    • Tanya! Thanks for stopping by. I SO get where you are. I definitely went through that stage too. And Keep holding onto Jesus – he WILL get the glory from this – even in ways we don’t expect. From my whole relationship experience this blog – Not Unredeemed – was born. I’m actually going to be sharing more of my story over at YLCF next month, but I’m still single 3 years later and yet God has proven to be faithful to me even in the middle of the redemption process! I have no idea what story or path He will have for you – but I do know that it will be good and that He will be faithful – not only in the end result but right now where you are in the middle! I’m praying for you and for the guy. Be blessed!

  11. Hmm… wow! I hopped over here from YLCF too.
    This has been something I’ve been very convicted of recently. Thank-you for this thorough and sound post. I’m in. 🙂

  12. Pingback: Where Have all the Cowboys Gone? « Not Unredeemed


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