I’ve missed so much.
No wonder we aren’t happy or satisfied, always looking for more.
We’re missing the only thing (and the only One) we can really, physically have. The state of being – of “Is” and the I AM.
“This is where God is. In the present. I AM – His very name…. I AM, so full of the weight of the present, that time’s river slows to a still… and God Himself is timeless. It’s not the gifts [that He has given us] that fulfill, but the holiness of the space. The God in it … This is a supreme gift, time, God Himself framed in moment. [“Is”] … time is only of essence, because time is the essence of God, I AM. This I need to
consecrate: time.” – One Thousand Gifts, Ann Voskamp
Can I learn to do that? Concentrate the now?
Right now “is” the only moment I have love Him. Here I can “Yada”* my Lord!?! The I AM?
If He is present I want to be also.
Today I am learning this. Learning how to simply be**. He’s the one that created me to be, is He not? “Your hands have made me and fashioned me, give me understanding that I may learn your commandments.” Psalm 119:73. Who has He made me right in this moment? Can I worship Him by just being?
I ran away to Lake Ontario yesterday to take a step back, to stop long enough to see a moment to be. I found joy in simply being – joy in delighting in the small gifts of I AM.
Delighting in who I am now – a 24, single, young woman. I have the freedom to just take off – can I not rejoice in this season? Feel the cool sand between my toes and the waves that chase my feet back to dry ground as I dwell on Him? Here with me on this beach – present – I AM?
I want to capture these moments and live them because He is HERE. The wind calls me higher as I swing like a child. I thank God for seats big enough for adults and I pump higher and higher as my toes soar towards the budding trees.
The sun is calling to me and my sunglasses take flight of their own and plummet to ground below. I revel in the wind as it whips through my now loose hair making it feel like a flowing ebony mane as it tangles behind me – joy.
As I hike along the lake searching for a resting place, I silently thank my parents for my name. My given name means pure water. I marvel at how much closer I feel to the I AM when I am next to water. He is here.
Cresting the horizon is a grassy knoll that over looks the lake with a field of dandelions – the perfect resting spot. I am over come with an irresistible urge to rejoice in the now – in dandelions. My fingers itch – can they remember how to weave a dandelion crown?
How silly – a grown women weaving flowers in the middle of a field. How delightful. Right now in this moment I don’t care who sees. The I AM is here. I put the crown on in awe of how He clothes the grass of the field and how much more He clothes and cares about me. He is here.
Do you remember how fun it is to play with your shadow? If we are created in His image are we not also His shadow? Left to testify of the imprint of His light in this world? Here too, is the I AM.
He is waiting to delight in you as well. Turn around – the I AM “is”.
*Yada – Hebrew meaning to know and be known, respected… Check out this blog for more.
** This blog has not been edited on purpose – dwelling on being now – in all it’s imperfect and glory.
Thanks to One Thousand Gifts for the inspiration – it’s a must read!