Not Unredeemed

… living the beautiful tension between what is, and what will be …

A Single’s List

15 Comments

If you knew that you would meet or start dating your Prince Charming or Mrs. Right a year from today – how would you live this last year of singleness? If you knew it would be your last?  I love hypothetical questions that make me think, and this is one that I have been pondering of late. Today’s 5 Minute Friday writing prompt was “join. So will you join me in thinking about this?

Single friends, we want to enjoy marriage and that starts now – singleness is our training ground. What we sow here we will reap in marriage. I want to sow some intentionality. I was reminded by a friend recently that I can serve the Lord in ways now, that I won’t be able to in the next season. How do I spend the time I have now wisely? If I knew I had one year left of being single, I would…..

  • Take a course on flower arranging
  • Take a Zumba class
  • Invest more in relationships with married friends
  • Travel to see siblings that have moved all over the country.
  • Intentionally pour more into several of “my girls”
  • Be less stingy with my time – learn what “lifestyle discipleship” is and an “open door policy”.
  • Read several of the counseling books I never got to
  • Attend educational conferences
  • Be. Rest in the Lord
  • De-clutter  my physical life, but also emotionally
  • I’d stop worrying about “when” and start living “now”
  • Most importantly – pray long and hard about what He wants this year to look like.

The list goes on, but you get the point – we would complain less about being single and would focus more on the time and opportunities we do have. We would stop worrying about “when” we were going to meet someone. But why do we do that now? Time is in His hands – the beginning and the end. Lets live like He knows how long we will be single.  Join me – what would you do if you had a year? One thing I do know – there is not a moment He has entrusted to us that He wants us to waste or drift through.

We have “lists” about what we want in spouses, what about having lists for ourselves of the people we want to become for the Lord’s glory? Singleness isn’t just about wanting or waiting for a spouse, its part of becoming who the Lord wants us to be.  He is the one that transforms us, but we also have to take ownership of that.  Drifting is becoming, there is no neutral ground in life. <— Tweet this. Ultimately it’s about Him -what will you do with the time He’s given to you? Married peeps – you have the hindsight we do not, if you could relive the last year you were single how would you do it? Please share with us in the comments.

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Author: notunredeemed

Jesus follower, people lover, truth scribbler. Addicted to pain (growth). Passionate about relationships, identity and the transforming power of Christ.

15 thoughts on “A Single’s List

  1. A very thought filled five minutes…love the “stop worrying about when and start living now!”
    Thanks for sharing. 🙂

  2. How would I live this last year of singleness? Knowing it would the last year of singleness?

    Well, character cannot be build overnight – and certainly not in “1 last year”. But as for 3 areas of life I would intensify all preparation and effort in view of the shared – life:

    – Prepare my heart to follow God wherever He would lead my husband and me as a family – calling ministry for the family and the specific calling for our family only as a family (the best – unity of our previous individual callings and blend of our complementary spiritual gifts in the same ministry)

    – Prepare my heart to LOVE THE DIFFERENT, love that is described by God in 1 Cor 13 and not some infatuation of human falling in love; know what are the differences between men and women on all levels (physical, pshychological, different roles according to God’s design) and learn to LOVE the person that is so much different than me

    – Know the biblical principles of family designed by God and the practical aspects of fulfilling them – love, harmony, unity, submission to God and the head of the family, sacrifice, understanding, communication……

    • I agree! Character is not built over night or all in one year. I like how you phrased it as “intensify preparation for these areas”. I think that’s what I was trying to get at! Thank you! Love the different – amen!

  3. I remember writing this type of list during my last few years of singleness. I put down traveling to other countries and writing a book. I did travel, but did not write a book. The fun part, of course, is that I married a man who was willing for both things to happen.

    There is something that shifts inside though, when we start to live intentionally. I’ve used this, even for my walk through infertility – “If I knew that I would be a parent next year…” and out comes a list of things that I want to accomplish while not having children. 🙂

    • hmmm there is a shift inside – it almost lends more purpose in the now – although of course not knowing how long this journey will actually be, it keeps us from drifting. ❤ Yay for Amos and for writing that book now!

  4. Yeah, I kind of thought if this is supposed to be a list of singles with “”the last things that they can do while singles””. But I find that to be unnatural, for I am doing the things that I’ve done before, and not take advantage of this “”last time as….””. I am living full, in the now, with all opportunities that I have, but all the same time preparing for the vision of future that I have received from God.

    I do minister and live to the fullest opportunities that I do have now – and I don’t have special things to do “before marriage”” besides that. I am preparing for my future, in the vision of my life that God gave me, and try to be ready for whenever the time comes that all changes.

    Thinking more on this….though.

    • yes, i think that would be unnatural as well. It would take the focus of of the Lord in our lives and glorify our singleness, if a list would do that for a single person, than please don’t make one!! If you can look at the list as a tool to keep you motivate in growing in the Lord and life, “preparing for a vision of the future” while living in the now – then use it. But it sounds like you are already on track, so just do what the Lord is already showing you to do! 🙂

  5. “Be less stingy with my time – learn what “lifestyle discipleship” is and an “open door policy”…” This has been on my mind lately. I want to be generous with my time. Thanks so much for sharing this! Definitely a list for everyone to think about …married or single. Blessings!

  6. Awesome list, Katie! Here are three things I would do if I had one year of singleness left:

    1. Travel all over Europe
    2. Finish writing my novel
    3. Go on a mission trip

    It looks like you’re a Christian homeschool girl like me! Would you be interested in contributing a guest post to the blog I help run for girls like us? You can learn more here: http://www.altogetherseparate.com/p/guest-posting.html

    • Thanks Abigail! I am (or rather have been) home schooled and then did just about every kind of college. 🙂 I would be interested in guest posting, and would love to learn a little bit more about your blog. Do you have any topics in mind? Please feel free to Email me at notunredeemed@gmail.com
      (I also love to do Europe 🙂 and I just got back from my first missions trip – I can’t recommend it enough! – for many reasons!)

  7. Awesome list, Katie! Here are three things I would do if I had one year of singleness left:

    1. Travel all over Europe
    2. Finish writing my novel
    3. Go on a mission trip

    It looks like you\’re a Christian homeschool girl like me! Would you be interested in contributing a guest post to the blog I help run for girls like us? You can learn more here: http://www.altogetherseparate.com/p/guest-posting.html

  8. Wow, loved this post. I’m single and I think maybe I’ll make a list of things I want to do before I get married. I actually want to embrace my singleness- for as long as it lasts! It’s a gift from God too 🙂

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