Hmmph! Used. I’m so sick of feeling used. Used and abused. Are there no grateful people left? When someone invests in you, you should at least have the decency to show some gratitude.
Swirling and bubbling through my mind these thoughts chased themselves in a cadence to the frustrated scrubbing of my dishpan.
I know loving people is worth it, but why when they are better and are going on their merry ways do they never look back? I spent hours investing in these relationships, counseling, tears, prayers and faithfulness as much like my Fathers as I could give them. I didn’t just share the Gospel with them, but my life as well. That is why it must hurt this much! I gave them me. As soon as there was no need for me, they were gone. Better, whole. But gone.
I argued with myself as I wore a hole by scrubbing through my favorite cooking pot.
But Jesus loved this way right? Did He ever feel used? He must have! I will keep pressing on. No one else might care, but it’s the right thing to do. Jesus did it. So I’ll keep srubbing – er plugging away!
Self-righteous pride began to creep in slowly turning the dishwater a murky grey.
Have you ever done this to Jesus?
Scrub, splash, ignore.
Hasn’t the Lord bandaged and healed you? Shared with you the gospel AND Himself? How many times have you grown and then ran on your merry way onto the next thing?
Ouch. The dishwater slowly begins to drain out of the sink.
We are to be like Jesus in how we give to and love people. Even if that means feeling “used”, but we are to be righteous over being right. The bubbles of my frustration, pride and justification of my hurt, and self-righteousness popped in the cleansing stream of the Holy Spirit’s voice.
The sink drained and cleaned as the fresh running water swept my frustration and anger down the drain.
Lord, forgive me for my ungratefulness for all you have done for me. For the ways you have loved me when I wasn’t grateful, for when you came after me when I refused to come to you. For your faithfulness of always being there for me when I need you even if I haven’t come to you for you are….
Tidbit of Truth for Today: The antidote of gratitude will wash the frustration away.