Not Unredeemed

… living the beautiful tension between what is, and what will be …

Single Vision


Do you have a vision for your life now?

I’ve observed a lot of marriages and a lot of relationships. Studied them on my own, and through several schools and universities. I’d read a book on communication and relationships over almost anything else. The way people relate to each other fascinates me! Meeting with couples as they work through personality and background differences in their relationships is my favorite form of discipleship.

On a less intellectual, and more personal level I’ve also deeply loved two different men over the last six years that I hoped to marry. (Phew, that feels vulnerable to write out friends!)

What I’m trying to say is I have a pretty good vision for what I would like my marriage and relationships to look like. I’ve experienced and seen what works and what does;t so well. But do I have a vision for today? For singleness? The Lord’s love for us doesn’t change based on our relational status, nor does His over all purpose for us. So that means there is a purpose for where we are today.

Singleness is not a waiting room, or a hallway to somewhere else.  It’s what you make of it. If singleness is a part of your life right now, than how will you live it?

When I get married I want to live it to the fullest. I will never take for granted having a date for a wedding, or having someone to come home too. I intend to fully enjoy and embrace marriage – the good AND the difficult. So what is stopping me from embracing singleness the same way? From fully drinking in the moments that I have right now?

There lurks a certain fear, that if we embrace what is, what we have right now, than we will loose what might be. If we embrace singleness and even enjoy it, than will God make us stay single forever? Will He forget our desire to be married?

One way to detect a lie is that it will always make God smaller and/or more like us. Let’s remember who the Lord really is.

He gives good things to His children (Matt 7:11)

Fear isn’t from Him (2 Tim 1:7)

He has a specific purpose for us – and it doesn’t just start when we get married/have kids (Eph. 2:10)

He pursues us (Hosea & Ezekiel 16:1-14)

The Lord doesn’t forget the desires of our heart. He knows us intimately. (Psalm 139)

His love goes beyond our desires.

If you could wake up tomorrow morning and have something be different about your singleness what would it be?

No, wise one, “a man” is the wrong answer.  🙂

Seriously, If you lived as a single person, with the same intentionality that you plan to live as a married person, what would do differentlyyou do differently?

A lot of people advise singles to make a list of what they want in a spouse. I’d like to challenge us to make a different kind of list. A list of how we can live fully today.

Let’s do it! Tomorrow (Tuesday Oct. 7th ), I’ll post my list, and share some of the things that I have done, and some things I want to still do or become.

Over the next few days will you think and pray about what it would look like for YOU to live fully alive today? The list can be whatever the Lord lays on your heart. The important part is that you write it. Long or short, I’d be honored if you would share it with me and with each other. Think of the things we can learn from other’s lists! You can post your list/ideas in comments, or if you blog, please feel free to link up.

Married friends! PLEASE join us. It’s important to know that longings and struggles don’t all go away in marriage. How can you,  live more fully alive today?

Beauty is the recognition of reality (what is) and embracing that – whatever it looks like. Each moment beauty, joy and peace is found by embracing the experience of what we hold in our hands. –Beauty Is

Today's the Day: Being Single and Fully Alive Share this challenge with a friend? Or do it together!

“Single Vision” is a part of Today’s the Day: Being Single and Fully Alive, a 31 Days series. For more posts in this series please click here.

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Author: notunredeemed

Jesus follower, people lover, truth scribbler. Addicted to pain (growth). Passionate about relationships, identity and the transforming power of Christ.

4 thoughts on “Single Vision

  1. Pingback: Today is the Day: Being Single and Fully Alive | Not Unredeemed

  2. After a divorce, I was alone with my two daughters for four years. I was extremely lonely and hurt during those years and praying for a Christian husband. Finally, after a bad experience with a man I met I told the Lord I was done looking. I told him I was fine being alone with my lovely children. It wasn’t a week later that I met my current husband. He had also gone through a bad experience and an engagement with a woman and was no longer looking for a wife. It is interesting how we both came to the point of accepting our singleness and then God brought us together.

  3. Pingback: A Different Kind of List | Not Unredeemed


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