Yesterday I asked the question “If you lived as a single, with the same intentionality that you plan to live as a married person, how would you live differently?” I’ve been encouraged many times to make a list of qualities I would want in a future spouse, but today its time to make a different kind of list. A list of what we would and could do differently to live fully alive today as a single person. (Or a married one!) Contentment and joy do not come with a specific season of life, they come with a specific choice of the heart to trust the One who is
always faithful (even when we are not)
always gives good things (right now)
My journey to living my list began with several mental decisions, heart shifts, and counseling. It was messy. Painful. Hard. But beautiful. They resulted (are resulting!) in much more freedom, fulfillment and joy than I would have imagined.
As promised here is my list. The ways I started to live differently, and the ways I want to.
As you read this,my prayer is for you to be encouraged, but this isn’t a magic list for you. This is what the Lord led me to do. The Lord will prompt YOUR heart in the areas He wants love and free you in.
A different kind of list
1.Stop waiting for my life to be different and choose to make it different.
2. Stop waiting for a husband to do things I’ve always wanted to do like travel, shoot guns, cook gourmet foods (you are allowed to enjoy the food you cook for yourself. It’s not a sin I promise!)
3. Plan weddings. I may not get to plan my own, but man do I get to have fun as a wedding coordinator planning other people’s. I used to believe it was cruel irony that I was becoming a wedding planner and planning everyone else’s weddings but my own. Then the Lord whispered, He was giving me these opportunities not as a cruel joke, or a dangling carrot but because I loved to plan! He was blessing me with joy of planning not just one wedding as most people do, but with many.
4. Choose beauty. Even over practicality and what others think – like pale pink skinny jeans in a redneck town. Oh well I never really fit in anyway!
5. Take a dance class.
6. Pursue a lay counseling certificate
7. Clean out my Hope Chest. This was a tough one, when I did it. I wept not just because of deferred hope, but because I had waited to start living in so many ways. Don’t get me wrong, it’s a great thing to save beautiful dishes till you get married. But my house is full of people now. Today. People I love and want to bless, and serve food to on beautiful dishes.
8. Stop living for the approval of others and the Lord. I’m already chosen and approved by Him.
9. Learn to have more fun. I can be much too serious at times.
For me, my list to live differently has been a process of letting go of what might be, to embrace what is. Ladies, Gents, a significant other does not bring beauty and joy into our lives, they add to what is already there. In direct answer to my own question: “If you lived as a single, with the same intentionality that you plan to live as a married person, how would you live differently?” My answer is: To stop waiting for a man. (That’s scary to say out loud!)
Because even more than I desire a family and a husband, I desire to live the life the Lord has blessed me with. To live it with gusto, to look at what He has created in me and for me, and agree with Him when He calls it good.
So what would be some of the things on your list to live fully today? I’d love to hear your ideas. And seriously, please share them! I want to learn from you 🙂
“A Different Kind of List” is a part of Today’s the Day: Being Single and Fully Alive, a 31 Days series. For more posts in this series please click here.