Truth is truth. What I have learned in singleness, others have learned in marriage, in infertility, in parenting. I’ve become irritated while writing this series because I HATE putting people into two camps: Married or Single. For the sake of clarity in writing, I have had to differentiate, but when I look at a person, I see a person.
One of the reasons I hesitated to write this series was because I don’t think of myself as “single”. I mean sure, I’m aware I’m single, but it’s just a part of my life and not something I really focus on. I think of myself as “Katie”, a steady, passionate, and slightly stubborn person who hasn’t got life figured out, but is madly in love with Jesus, craves beauty, and is tenderly wooed by Him. That’s me. The facts and facets of my life include oldest of 12 kids, Costumer, Administrator, wedding coordinator, aspiring discipler, single lady, teacher, fashion conscious, and friend.
Outside of the label “single” or “married”, who are you as a person?
Peoples, single and married do mean something and they describe us to some extent, but they are not my identity, nor yours. They do not define who we are, any more than our skin color. We all learn, we all laugh, we all cry, feel pain and feel joy. Life brings us hopes, dreams, failure and heartbreak.
Romans 8:28 says that we are called according to His purpose. And in 1 Cor. 12, we are told that each member of the body has a specific purpose. You have a purpose and a value that extends beyond your relational status.
Now you are the body of Christ and individually members of it. 1 Cor. 12:27
You friend, are an individual.
You are a part of something bigger.
The larger reality is that the truth of the Gospel is not isolated nor segregated to a relational status.
The danger I face in writing this series is that is would be all to easy to down play or exalt both singleness and marriage. It’s easy for us make an idol out of both or to disparate the other. We are not meant to do either. First and foremost we must see people as people, as individuals. And then we must see ourselves as part of something bigger – the body of Christ and also the human race.
The Lord may use singleness to teach me that my value is in Him. He may use marriage to teach someone else the same thing, as they chafe against being seen as so & so’s wife or husband.
What I have learned in singleness from struggling and wrestling with longings, my friend has learned through infertility.
Friends sometimes wonder how I can meet with and disciple couples, when I am not married myself – the answer is simple, we don’t talk strictly about experience, we talk about truth. There is only One who has the knowledge of all things (and btw – He was single – winks 😉 ).
Truth is truth. We simply learn and live it in different ways. A reader commented to me this morning that she saw me first as ‘serving’ over ‘single’. That really blessed me! (Especially since I had already begun to draft this post).
As people we have a deep need to know and be known. I’ve heard from some of my married readers that they fear being left out by their single friends in the same way that the single peeps fear being replaced when their friends marry. Fear too is common to us all. When we marry we are still us.
I could keep calm and rant on, but in short my heart tonight is for us to see each other as people, and not miss the opportunities that will come from learning from each other in all camps of life.
I have a challenge for you (and me!) this week: to pray the Lord would show us Himself and the evidence of the work He has done in those around us – no matter how different from us they seem, or what season of life they are in. Because – at the end of the day we are all loved by Him.
“Truth is Truth” is a part of the “Today’s The Day: Being Single and Fully Alive” a 31 Days Series. To read more from this series please click here.