I dyed my hair this morning. I didn’t do it out of rebellion (at least not in the traditional sense), nor did I do it for any spiritual reason. I wasn’t even going to post about it on social media for a bit until I saw this week’s Friday writing prompt was “Blue”. The same color I had just highlighted through my long brunette hair. Thoughts chased each other through the tangles in my mind much longer than my wavy tresses.
I deeply love color. Differing hues and shades or bright contrasts have a way of making my heart sing. Color and beauty are the hidden treasures of life for me. But somehow in my love of color I still want God to be black and white.
Something I can easily understand, grasp, and define. And –gulps – Something/Someone I can control. As much as I want Him to be all or nothing on a topic, the Father often embodies both. Jesus didn’t come just in grace, or just in truth. He came in both grace and truth (John 1). There is free will and He is also Sovereign. Scripture tells me to earnestly seek answers and wisdom, and yet I’m also asked to trust Him in the unknown. These concepts tangle my mind in such knots and if my hair knotted that intensely I would cut it off!
I think of black and white as opposite ends of the spectrum – they almost stand alone. Perhaps a more accurate description of them is that they are the boundaries and stability for the whole pallet of colors that lie between them. Black and white are where color begins and ends. They aren’t meant to be stand alone colors (or lack of color), but backdrops so that the other colors are seen more clearly.
Life is messy and I haven’t found a way around that. But maybe I’m not supposed to. Beautiful colors are created in the mess of two different and opposite colors being smashed together. How much beauty do I miss when I insist that that the Lord be only one way or another? (And who am I to tell Him how it should be?) In my stubbornness I’m trying to limit Him to only painting the scenes of my life with black and white because I can understand them. Yet how boring a life and a painting that would be! Trying to limit the Father’s color pallet is like trying to put a rainbow in box. (Have you ever tried to put a rainbow in a box !?)
I serve a God who is clothed in rainbows of color and depths of mystery. And at the end of the day I wouldn’t trade that for a God I could control. I love color too much. Perhaps, just perhaps, the messiness of life is His invitation to know more of Him – beauty in different depths of color.
And so the Lord can use random writing prompts and even blue strands of hair to remind me that I do love His crazy and unpredictable side. And that He loves mine too.