Not Unredeemed

… living the beautiful tension between what is, and what will be …


Missed Miracles and Mats

Staggering under the weight of my mat, I’ve been missing a lot of miracles lately. John 5 tells the story of Jesus healing a lame man on the Sabbath. Jesus asks him if he wants to get well, the man response with an excuse, and yet Jesus still heals him. He commands him to take up his mat and walk. The Jews get upset that the man is working on the Sabbath by carrying his mat and completely miss the miracle that the lame man is walking.

“the Jews said to the man who had been healed, ‘It is the Sabbath; the law forbids you to carry your mat.’”

 Did they even notice he was WALKING?! The man who had lain by the pool lame for years?

While studying this chapter a friend asked “Katie what is your mat?” Ouch. My mat. What is God freeing me from laying lame and suck on? Pride, doubt and control instantly come to mind. Control, the sin that lames me with more frequency than others,  the desire to do things my way on my timetable rather than His.

I’m no better than the Jews of old. I stagger around under the weight of my mat completely missing the miracle that I’m walking!Surrendered control is heavy to walk under some days, the days I forget I’m even walking. I tend to only feel the weight of the mat, the work on my Sabbath trust. It is restful to give up control, but ittakes work to stay surrendered. I feel that weight. I feel the weight of clinging to His promises when it doesn’t make sense and forget the miracle that He promises us things in the first place!

Are you walking today? Or just feeling the weight and forgetting the miracle that you are even walking? My friend Natasha shares a story of seeing her small miraclesand she brings to light the fact that miracles are often found in irony. Perspective sometimes.Look again at John 5. I think Jesus healed the man not only because he loved him, but so that He could get the glory. He healed the man despite his excuses and on the Sabbath. Jesus knew the Sabbath laws and the reaction it would invoke. Yet He still healed! Maybe because it would make His glory and freedom even more known as the man carried his mat on the Sabbath.

God doesn’t get the glory when we lay on our mats. He gets the glory when we walk with them. Some days I get the mat part – but I completely miss the perspective and proceeding joy of remembering that I am WALKING! The mat isn’t so heavy then, in fact it feels a bit more like a bouquet of promises, er flowers from the Lover who is in control. 🙂


Beyond Courageous

One night. One question. One life forever changed. In the fall of 2010 while interning at Focus on the Family, I saw the
very first pre showing of the newly released movie, Courageous. The movie is phenomenal – go see it if you haven’t already, but this isn’t about the movie, really. It’s more about what happened at the night of the preview.

Between showings we hosted a dinner for some of the Focus staff and the Courageous team that had come up from GA to present us the movie. Polite laughter and superficial, chit chatty dinner conversation abounded. Till Ken Bevel (police officer Nathan Hayes in Courageous, and Michael Simmons, firefighter in Fire Proof), asked myself and the other two 20 something’s, at the table a question that would render me speechless for months.  He asked:

 What are you going to do to change the World for God?  Continue reading

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Dear L—,

I miss you! I see you everyday. I walk past you in the hallways. You are present in every meeting I have all day long. I ask to see you and hear you as you really are in those meetings and I do. You are faithful and cannot deny who you are, so when I call – you come. We discuss questions my girls ask me and you show me your wisdom – yet I miss you, L—.  I tell you about the struggles I see all around me, and in turn you show me your heart. I plead for a friend and you listen and intervene. Yet I miss you.

I’m reading your biography everyday, your words – learning about you. Yet I miss you. We don’t talk, just the two us for no reason anymore. I don’t ask you what your thinking, what’s on your heart, unless someone asks me to ask you these days. How can I miss you when I see you everyday? We do great business together, but I miss the romance. More than that – I miss you. 

Forgive me.



Several hours later while going through papers, an old letter is found. Continue reading

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Compliments of

Bounce, jump, and shift are all redirect words that mean starting in one place but ending in a different one. They signal a movement from one area to another. Over the years various guy friends have shared with me a principle they call ‘bouncing’.  In order to keep from lusting when they see an attractive women in a way that would tempt them to lust they “bounce” their eyes onto something else and look away.*  One friend told me “the first look isn’t sin – we can’t help when someone walks in front of us – it’s when we keep looking or look again that it is a problem”.  I tend to agree with him.

As with all sin, we first start with the temptation to sin before we do the actually sinning. James 1:14 says:

“But each person is tempted when they are dragged away by their own evil desire and enticed. Then, after desire has conceived, it gives birth to sin; and sin, when it is full-grown, gives birth to death”

We need to stop sin when the desire comes – before it births sin in us.  Temptation isn’t sin – we sin when we give into the temptation. We need to bounce our looks, or thoughts, or words.

Ladies, I think the guys are on to something here! What if we ‘bounced’ whenever the desire for sin appeared? Rather than just lust, what if we applied it to worry, pain, hurt, unforgiveness, a bad attitude or discontent?  Continue reading




I almost always see this word as a bad thing. For me it means limitations, that I’m not super woman as much as I want to be. It means I’m human.  I’m learning it means He’s God. I’ve known for years that God is my strength and when I’m weak He’s strong and yada yada yada…. But lately it’s making it’s way from my head to my heart. I KNOW that when I’m tired and at my end – it is my end and the beginning of Him. For all of my tiredness there is an opposite in Him.

Tired of being sick (physically) all fall – tired to the point of not functioning.
Tired of seeing the pain and evil – tired of my heart breaking.
Tired of the Lord revealing things to me I can’t do much about or fix – tired of surrendering it all back to Him.
Tired of fighting my own selfishness.

And yet – I’m thankful He’s not tired of me. For every time my heart breaks, it’s only because His is too.  Fighting my selfishness means that it’s dying. That He is living more. With sickness comes compassion and patience. In revelation comes responsibility to pray – utter reliance on Him. For in the end of my understanding begins His. When my heart can’t take it anymore – His is larger. Perhaps tired is a good thing. It keeps me on my knees.

5 Minute Friday Prompt – Tired. Real, raw unedited writing for 5 minutes. Join us over at the Gypsy Momma.


The Bridge of ‘So That’

So That.

Two tiny words that form a transitional phrase and a conditional clause. They are the bridge between cause and effect and the signaling/ushering in of another season. A continuation of one season as it simultaneously prepares for the next.  “So that” can explain part of the ‘why’ in life as you look back over the circumstances they bridge to the outcome, purpose and result.

The only problem with the “so that” bridge is when God is still building the bridge in our lives we can only see the “so” part. It doesn’t make sense yet – and that is exactly where I am right now. I’m in a season of wrestling. Wrestling with serving/loving/living fully in the now as God pricks and prepares my heart for the future. He is stirring things in my heart I don’t understand and don’t know how to put into words yet. My heart is breaking for things it never used too. I long and ‘weep as a man, longing for his Home’. I see God working and moving pieces in my heart but not how they connect. Continue reading


Kite Strings

The very things that tie us down give us the freedom to soar like kite strings.  They are balance and tension between the concepts of life and reality.

Dreams. Visions. Goals – God driven ambition. Lofty ideas, concepts and philosophies that soar right into and from the gates of Heaven – slam into balance – painful. Hard. The day in and day out reality of character forming drudgery. Patience and waiting. Endurance. Growth. – The kite strings of the minute-by-minute details that allow for and are the working out of the dreams into realities. Continue reading