Not Unredeemed

… living the beautiful tension between what is, and what will be …


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Into Me You See {Intimacy}

What comes into our minds when we think about God is the most important thing about us. A.W. Tozer – Knowledge of the Holy

Who God is to us is one of the most important things about us, because it reveals the transformation that the Lord has done in our lives and our understanding of who He is. There is one major important step however that needs to come before we can clearly see who God is and subsequently what we think of Him.

 I read in a periodical the other day that the most fundamental thing is how we think of God. By God Himself, it is not!  How God thinks of us is not only more important, but infinitely more important. Indeed, how we think of Him is of no importance except in so far as it relates to how He thinks of us. C.S. Lewis – Weight of Glory

While Tozer is right and I still agree with him, Lewis presents another very important side. We must first see ourselves as God sees us, before we can truly see God.  Continue reading

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Even This – Again

How many times will I stare at these white walls and fight back the tears, trying to pull myself back together before the Dr comes in? I already know what they are going to tell me. MRSA. Again. I’m loosing track of how many times I’ve sat here. I guess if I wanted a count the medical bills stacking up could tell me. Or maybe the purple scars covering my legs.

Natural doctors, medical doctors, they are all at their wits end trying to help me. No one knows why I keep getting sick. You name it, I’ve probably tried it. Diets, essential oils, Antibiotics, the list goes on.

I want to give up, but I can’t. I guess I’m learning why the Lord made me so stubborn. I don’t question His goodness, but my heart questions His plan as my mind whispers “why?”. I know He can heal me. I’m more sure of that then I am of my own name. So why doesn’t He? It’s in anguish I ask, wanting to understand, not anger. He is to faithful to me to be angry with Him. His grace abounds even in this. Even here. Again.  Continue reading


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Lies All Lies !

My fingers froze over the keys as I stared at the screen. I’d just caught myself in a bold face lie.

 I don’t feel strong enough to go through this again Lord. At all. I can see Oh so clearly how you were preparing me for this and that is where the thankfulness comes in. But I don’t feel ready or prepared. I feel tired… my heart is weary.

I wanted to journal and say that I couldn’t walk this out; I was tired and not strong enough. Lie. It’s so much harder to believe a lie when you are journaling it.

 I know I should not say or think that I am not ready, that is a lie. You are all I need. With you I am as ready as I need to be.

When we say that we can’t do something we are saying that God is not enough – that His grace and strength are not
sufficient. Since when did feelings dictate what was true or not?

Continue reading